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| Image credit: Kurious |
When you’re single, you find yourself dating all different types of characters. And sometimes, a certain type of character may cause your gaydar to go into overdrive.
Looking back, I’ve heard similar stories from other women, where they’ve been trying to figure out if the guy they’re dating is gay, straight or bi. I think living in a permissive society, where sexual experimentation is readily accepted, has blurred the lines even more.
That, and women are becoming so suspicious of men due to the sheer volume of failed or f*cked up relationships, looking for red-flags (or I guess in this case, rainbow flags) becomes second nature (that might just be me though).
Here were a few things that raised my suspicions:
The guy was good looking/liked to maintain a groomed appearance – I guess the phrase "the good ones are either married or gay" had to originate from somewhere. Plus, gay guys are known for taking care of their appearance. However, with the rise of the metrosexual male, you can’t always tell.
He had a few effeminate characteristics – The dude was European however, so I chalked it up to that. Even in my own culture, guys from back home (or "fresh off the boats" as we affectionately call them) tend to sound and act a bit camp.
He mentioned his brother was gay, as well as a friend of his – Birds of a feather, flock together...
Judging by his Facebook, the majority of his friends were female.
He kept mentioning various incidents with a homoerotic subtext.
He also mentioned how he wasn’t looking for a relationship – Now, I know your average guy is probably just as afraid of commitment, but this dude has had long-term relationships before, so I don’t think it was a fear of the unknown. Of course, he could have just not seen me as relationship material BUT he kind of gave off sad, lost and soul-searching vibes… a phase I’m sure all people who are confused about their sexuality go through.
I did jokingly point all of this out to the guy and he seemed to find it funny, which makes me think that maybe he was straight after all: only a guy who is truly comfortable in his sexuality would be able to laugh off such an accusation. Maybe he saw it as a challenge to prove otherwise. On that note, there was some very un-gay like behaviour that occurred between the two of us.
But since I'm the over-analysing, over-thinking and general self-sabotaging type, I would still find myself scratching my head, wondering:
Just because a guy is all over you/can’t keep his hands off you, doesn’t mean he can’t still be gay...
Add to that, a YouTuber I’ve been following for years recently came out as gay in a documentary he did for the telly. This wasn’t just shocking because it was a guy from the South Asian community (although more power to him, breaking down social barriers for the LGBT community)…but years ago, I recall him discussing interracial dating and talking about his girlfriend. She even made a few appearances in his videos.
As for me, that romantic situation has now ended so I guess we’ll never know.
On a side note, I realise how shallow I must sound summarising someone’s sexual preference based on such flimsy indicators. But I’m sure other girls can relate to a situation where they have found themselves dating a dude and wondering about his sexuality. Especially since, with modern dating, things aren’t so black and white anymore.
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