How To Use The Toilet Like A Classy Person (At Work, At A Guy's Place Or Anywhere Else)

My posts have been a tad depressing of late, so I feel like it's defo time to bring a bit of levity to this blog.

Image credit: Alexas_Fotos

Using the toilet outside the comfort of your own home can be a source of angst for many pee/poop-shy folks. In fact, I applaud those classy individuals who point-blank refuse to use public loos for anything other than a quick pee.

Unfortunately for me, I have quite the erm sensitive digestive system, which means I either go to the loo when I need to…or pay for it dearly after.

Besides let’s be honest, it’s the most underrated feeling in the world: you feel cleansed, detoxed and 10 pounds lighter after you’ve been 😃.

However, I do like to keep it classy and I know sometimes it’s hard to use the loo when other people are within earshot. And being a clean/hygiene freak means I’ve picked up a few extra tips along the way.

Not only that, but having been brought up in a Muslim culture where washing after every bathroom visit (number 1 AND 2) is instilled in you from youth, I can now advise you on how to use the loo and still be able to feel…fresh after.

So first things first, let’s take care of the noise.

Nothing makes you feel more self-conscious than when you’re peeing and it sounds like a never-ending waterfall. But there's an easy solution to this – you basically aim for the side of the bowl, instead of the water. Sorted!

As for a number 2, easy: just put some toilet tissue down first…that way, you avoid the dreaded SPLASH!

So simple…yet effective. It saves you from running the tap to cover up the noise (and wasting water) too.

Now, let’s take care of the smell. This one’s a little trickier. Me, I tend to flush asap – the less time it’s around, the quicker diffusion can occur.

If I have my handbag on me, I tend to do an obligatory spray in consideration of others. This is a trick I use when sharing hotel rooms on holiday etc…I’ll keep a cheap spray in the toilet to use liberally, which can mask any offending smells.

Apparently, pouring essential oils into the toilet bowl before you do your business also covers up smells effectively too. There are even some products dedicated to this 😂:

"Pou-Pourri - Sh*ttin Pretty"

The natural essential oils create a barrier, which traps any odour under the surface.

Alternatively a good old window does the trick, combined with barring anyone from using the bathroom for at least 15mins after you've been. Or you can time your toilet visits so you only go after someone's just been, when you know the coast is clear.

Now, let's deal with cleaning-up. This is more aimed at people who, like me, are used to washing with water after they use the loo. You'll notice a water can-like jug in most Muslim households, which has the same function as a bidet.

However, if you're in public this proves to be a little tricker. What I tend to do is wet a few pieces of tissue and erm save them for the last few wipes. At work, I have more of a long-term solution where I take in a plastic cup or bottle. My friend also gave me a handy tip where she uses those small iron water-filler jugs, which you can easily carry around on the go.

There are those flush-friendly wet-wipes on the market, which are definitely handy to use when travelling. I’d be cautious over-using those though, especially if you’re sensitive down there.

Other issues – floaters. Nothing is more distressing than using someone else's loo, doing your business and then the offending item refusing to go down despite numerous flushes.

But worry no more, just put some more toilet tissue down, enough so that it covers the stubborn log and then flush. It seems to act as an anchor.

So there you have a few toilet-related life hacks. Do you every feel self-conscious using shared or public loos? Have you picked up any habits which allow you to do your business with stealth?

If so, comment below…sharing is caring.