Self Improvement vs. Accepting Yourself

Image credit: mcredifine

My life has been randomly hectic for the past couple of years and unfortunately, blogging took a backseat. I also didn’t bother to renew this site's custom domain registration, which meant my search visibility took a battering and since I was no longer getting the consistent traffic that I was used to, it was even more of a reason to not be as active on here.

I find my desire for blogging returning however, as I forgot just how therapeutic it can be. As someone who is prone to bouts of situational depression, if there’s an outlet that can bring you any kind of relief, it’s well worth continuing with.

It also helps to clear and organise my thoughts, and I’m finding myself rambling less to poor folks in my everyday life since I’ve gotten back into writing. I know a lot of people can relate to things I write about as well, which is why I originally set up this blog.

I guess the purpose of this post is that I find myself reflecting on my current circumstances, which make me feel like I’m exactly where I was 3-4 years ago, despite making numerous changes in my life.

I think as adults, especially if you have a pattern of struggling to maintain relationships, jobs or whatever, it's important to be self-aware so you can look at areas about yourself that perhaps need improving. The goal isn’t to be too self-critical, but more so you can live your best life.

How I Broke My Internet Addiction

In the modern age, it’s increasingly difficult to avoid technology as more and more systems become digital.

Image credit: Mediamodifier

For the most part, these updates in communications are designed to make our lives easier. However, like anything else you have to be careful not to let usage become excessive, as overuse can have a variety of negative effects on your mental and physical health.

I myself noticed a difficulty in being able to listen or concentrate on one thing for too long; even watching a movie or reading a book required a concentrated effort to focus and not let my mind drift.

I think the problem is that it’s my main way to ease boredom – as soon as I have some spare time, I’m connected online and I feel a mad rush to check (and clear) my notifications, as well as my email inboxes, news feeds (both personal from social media, and topical in the form of online newspapers), not to mention checking the status of this blog.

That’s a lot of information to process and it can’t be good for those who are prone to feeling anxious or overwhelmed. But it can be difficult to break the habit when it becomes part of your daily routine.

Does Technology Create More Problems Than It Solves?

As technology is constantly changing, people often wonder why I'm so resistant to updating my bits of technology and moving with the times. But I can’t be the only one who finds gadgets and electronics a potential source of stress, for the following reasons:

1) When you buy a new piece of equipment, there’s the whole process of having to get used to a new system and learning how it works.

Image credit: FirmBee

2) The inevitable troubleshooting that comes when you realise your new flash bit of equipment might have some cool new functions, but is struggling to carry out certain simple, basic tasks you grew used to using on your old device.

3) Concerns about being too dependant or reliant on technology, not to mention sacrificing your privacy and personal data when engaging heavily with certain apps.

It's like technology has become too technical and involved for its own good.

Does Expensive = Better Quality?

I’ve always been one to buy most of my stuff from the high street, be it clothing, toiletries, cosmetics, electronics or homeware. There is always the option to go a bit upmarket and shop in the more expensive stores when you're in shopping centres, but I’ve usually gone for shops that stock mid-to-low priced products, just because I haven’t seen the need to go high-end for basic everyday items.

Image credit: FranckinJapan

In fact, I even wrote about my dissatisfaction with certain luxury brands in this post: Are Expensive Cosmetics Ruining Your Skin?

While it’s OK to treat yourself from time to time, I’ve often found that for example, when I’ve splurged on a designer handbag, purse or jacket, the higher price tag hasn’t necessarily resulted in a better quality item.

I guess you could say I don’t like wasting my money. I’m not necessarily a bargain hunter, but I will shop around to make sure I’m not spending triple the amount for something identical-yet-cheaper elsewhere. And I especially don’t like splashing the cash on something that fails to live up to its advertising promise.

However, a default attitude of always going for the cheapest option has definitely resulted in purchasing goods that aren’t the best quality. I never really noticed it until recently, but buying a similar item at a cheaper price has often meant the product just hasn’t lasted as long, and I’ve had to replace it perhaps sooner than I would have had to if I had spent more at the initial time of purchase.

Why Travelling Is Overrated

Image credit: Skitterphoto

Nearly everyone loves the idea of travelling: getting on a plane, visiting a new country, a change of scenery and an escape from everyday life.

For some, it’s the idea of endless beach days and non-stop partying that appeals; for others scenic views and excursions. Others like to experience different city cultures, whilst there are people who like to go on holiday purely to experience more settled weather.

Whatever the reason, I do think it’s good for people to explore other places: it not only builds character being in an unfamiliar environment, but opens you up to new experiences and potentially meeting new people.

I’ve always been the type of person who only visits a destination because I really want to go there. However, in modern-day times with people endlessly bragging about their overseas escapades via social media, a lot of people find themselves going on holiday just to keep up with the Joneses.
They have no real, genuine desire to see that particular place, they just go because it’s something for them to do, to feel like they’re involved.

This amuses me because (and this might be a testament to getting old), travelling isn’t exactly fun.

How To Use The Toilet Like A Classy Person (At Work, At A Guy's Place Or Anywhere Else)

My posts have been a tad depressing of late, so I feel like it's defo time to bring a bit of levity to this blog.

Image credit: Alexas_Fotos

Using the toilet outside the comfort of your own home can be a source of angst for many pee/poop-shy folks. In fact, I applaud those classy individuals who point-blank refuse to use public loos for anything other than a quick pee.

Unfortunately for me, I have quite the erm sensitive digestive system, which means I either go to the loo when I need to…or pay for it dearly after.

Besides let’s be honest, it’s the most underrated feeling in the world: you feel cleansed, detoxed and 10 pounds lighter after you’ve been 😃.

However, I do like to keep it classy and I know sometimes it’s hard to use the loo when other people are within earshot. And being a clean/hygiene freak means I’ve picked up a few extra tips along the way.

Not only that, but having been brought up in a Muslim culture where washing after every bathroom visit (number 1 AND 2) is instilled in you from youth, I can now advise you on how to use the loo and still be able to feel…fresh after.

New Year’s Resolutions 2017

You know you’re really basic when you participate in this whole "New Year, New Me" phenomenon.

Image credit: schroederhund

However, last year was a bit of a mixed-bag for me – some really fun experiences, but also some emotionally-draining circumstances. The last week of the year for me was especially eventful and reflected this pattern. Luckily, the year did end on a good note, which felt like an opportune time to mark a fresh start.

So on that note, here are some areas I want to focus on:

1) Be more selfish – By this, I mean I want to put less effort into pleasing other people, and more effort into myself and doing things that make ME happy.

For example, I’ve found as my social circle has expanded, as have the opportunities to socialise. And don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful to have found a lovely little group of people to hang out with; It’s rare to find people who appreciate the amount of effort you put into a friendship, and who reciprocate. I really shouldn’t take them for granted.

However, spending too much time with anyone will lead to irritation. And I’m that type person who goes a bit crazy if I don’t have a certain amount of alone time.

I think this is a result of having spent a period of time not getting out much (due to not having many friends to hang out with). In situations like that, you find ways to keep yourself occupied. You get used to your own company and I guess old habits die hard.

Now, I’ve met people who are as eager and willing to socialise. But it’s good to find a balance. I’m learning to turn down invites, if participating means it’ll be a drain on my time, finances and energy.

When Life Gets Tough, Stay Positive

"How do you stay positive in a world that is such a negative and hateful place?"

We all have bad days where we come across everyday obstacles and challenges, not to mention people or situations that really test our patience and lead us to lose faith in people and the world around us.

But when it’s getting to point where a bad day has turned into a bad week…then a bad month, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate your circumstances and more importantly, your mindset.

Image credit: Maialisa

I’m not trying to minimise people’s problems. Trust me, I know how much it sucks when it seems like every aspect of your life is going wrong, causing you to feel helpless, stressed and overwhelmed; when life feels like a long, lonely journey with no relief in sight.

Life can be tough man, what with stressful jobs, financial instability, crappy living situations, disappointing relationships, unreliable friends and rubbish support networks.

But the truth is, everyone has problems. No one’s life is peachy, all of the time. Everyone has stresses, worries and concerns. Granted, some people’s problems or circumstances may be more extreme than others. But generally, if it seems like some people are happier than others then it’s because there’s a difference in how they deal with things.

Some of the strongest, seemingly happiest-on-the-surface people have had the most traumatic experiences. They’ve just learnt how to handle and overcome setbacks.

Why A Beach Holiday Is Good For You

I came back from a holiday recently, my first overseas break in three years and I think because I hadn’t holidayed in a while I definitely appreciated the getaway a lot more.

A snap from my recent holiday 

Not that there’s anything wrong with going abroad multiple times a year. In fact, I used to be that type of person, a frequent flyer and I even went travelling around Southeast Asia. I had this thirst to see the world and I was fascinated to see how other people lived in different parts of the world.

But then all of a sudden, my interest in travelling dwindled. Perhaps it was the shock of realising just how much money I had spent on holidays, which is money that could have been put to more practical use.

Or perhaps it was the difficulty in getting people to commit to a holiday. Add to that, it seems everyone gets on each other’s nerves on holiday – no matter how close you are, being cooped up with someone 24/7 is bound to lead to some issues. So maybe this is what put me off.

Help to Buy ISAs: How It All Works

I’ve never been overly-knowledgeable when it comes to matters of personal finance – too much talk of variable interest rates and AERs and I start to zone out.

It’s quite contradictory really, as I’m quite a good saver and I generally have a clear idea of exactly just how much money is going in and out of my bank account. You would think I’d be keen to be banking-savvy to maximise my saving potential.

A guy I was formerly seeing introduced me to the world of ISAs, practically begging me to open one up. He went as far as to setting the whole thing up for me online.

And I’m glad/grateful he did, because I now earn an extra £100 a year…as opposed to the 0.02p I was earning from my savings before.

But now that time has come around again, as there’s a new type of ISA account on the market that I really need to brush up on.

Help! My Washing Machine Leaves White Streaks On My Clothes

I’m a bit of a neat/tidy/clean freak but laundry has got to be my least favourite domestic chore, not least because my wardrobe consists of a lot of black and after EVERY wash I have these annoying white streaks on my clothes.

Once dried and ready to wear, I would have to get a damp sponge and pat the area to get rid of the white marks. I can’t believe I’d been dutifully just doing this for years before I finally decided to Google a remedy.

So, first things first – locate the source of the problem. Answer: surplus detergent. I decided to go easy on the washing powder with my next wash but sadly, the white streaks remained ever-present

I then came across some advice which suggested just doing an extra rinse with your wash. Unfortunately, my washing machine doesn’t have that option so once the cycle was complete, I just ran the "prewash" programme. I believe the "handwash" setting will work too if you have it.

I was pleasantly surprised that this actually worked! If you’re worried about the extra cost, you can always run the wash during off-peak hours where the energy tarrif is cheaper. Generally, these progammes only add an extra 15-20 minutes onto your wash anyway.

How To Talk To Women

It REALLY p*sses me off when guys don’t know how to talk to girls properly, or talk down to them in a lame attempt at flirting.

Image credit: Unsplash

I know I’m not the only one to experience this, and my friend recently told me about an occasion where she and her friend were approached by two guys. They got into a seemingly pleasant conversation and when it ended, the guys asked for their number. They politely declined, causing the guys to verbally abuse them both.

Charming.

I’m not talking about shy or introverted guys by the way, because I can sympathise with those types, and once they open up you realise they make wonderful conversationalists.

Tethering & Portable WiFi Hotspots: How To Use Your Phone As A WiFi Source

I’ve had numerous connection problems with my broadband service provider lately, which makes the random price hikes all the more frustrating.

Image credit: ClkerFreeVectorImages

The plus side to this is that I had a valid excuse to terminate my 12 month contract with Sky, as they could see my connection status at their end and couldn’t argue that it would frequently timeout (such a first world problem, I know).

Coincidentally, I’ve been going on house/flat viewings as I’ve been thinking about moving out. Even though Sky were okay with me leaving early into my contract, waiving any cancellation fees due the technical issues I had been experiencing, moving to another broadband provider would have been pointless as I didn’t want to be tied to another 12 month contract if I’d soon be moving.

So, what to do in the interim?

I rely heavily on the internet for entertainment - it’s where I watch most of my TV series. I also like to keep up with celeb gossip (a guilty pleasure) and the general news. I need it to check-in on this website as well.

Depression & Anxiety: How To Cool Down After An Argument

People can be dismissive of depression and anxiety, seeing it as a phantom illness endured by those who are too weak to overcome trying times.

Image credit: Unsplash 

On one hand, they might have a point: everyone goes through difficult periods and the onus is on you to overcome it.

Sure, people can help in terms of lending an ear or offering advice but ultimately it’s up to you to seek practical steps to deal with stress and then apply it. Or at least try to, to see if it works for you.

However, sometimes stress or emotional-related problems manifest into physical symptoms that are beyond our control e.g. insomnia, lack of appetite, skin breakouts, muscle tension, teeth-grinding, digestive issues and my personal favourite chest tightness and palpitations/heart pounding. What feels like a mini heart attack is your body reacting to the adrenaline rush from a particularly stressful situation.

This is something that’s developed for me personally over the past year, and I feel like I’m getting weak in my old-age! Sometimes I wonder why trivial stuff is getting me all bent-out-of-shape, especially when I compare it more extreme situations I’ve dealt with (and managed to brush off) in the past.

Is MAC Makeup Safe To Use On Acne-Prone Skin?

If my ongoing battle for clear skin has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes less is more: not overloading my skin with cosmetics is likely to prevent skin problems from even occurring in the first place.

Image credit: Maria Morri [Flickr - CC 2.0]

However, I still like to glam-up on occasion and I find I need to purchase the higher-end cosmetics to get the right shade of things like foundation (nothing worse than looking grey in photos where a flash was used!). But of course, the ingredients often used in these products are usually too rich and heavy for oily, acne-prone skin.

I feel like MAC is one of the few makeup brands that is worth the hype and extra cost. However, no matter how good the brand is you still have to be cautious when trying out new products.

So as someone who is prone to breakouts and cystic acne, I would probably avoid the following MAC products:

How Soon Can You Use Your Oven After Cleaning It?

Image credit: Pimasuro

I read an article how things like burnt or well-done potatoes, toast or other starchy foods release chemicals that can cause cancer.

So when I noticed a bunch of burnt bits in the oven I thought it might be time to give it a good scrub-down, especially when in the past few weeks I’ve heard multiple sad stories from lovely folks at work whose loved ones have been diagnosed with cancer.

The problem is the heavy duty cleaner I used left a lingering smell, even after I left the oven door open for hours. So I was then left worrying about toxic chemicals of a different kind.

And they say no good deed goes unpunished.

Anyway, as usual there’s always someone else in the same predicament and after a bit of research online, I found a foolproof solution to get rid of the chemical smell that lingers when you give your oven a good clean:

Give the oven one last wipe-down with a damp cloth to get rid of any residual cleaner. Then switch on your (empty) oven and let it warm up, kinda like how you’re supposed to pre-heat the oven before you cook something (let’s be honest though, who really does that?). After about 15 minutes, the smell should disappear. 

It may take a couple of goes, but the smell does eventually fade after a few uses.

My attempts at cooking usually end in disaster (hence why the oven gets a lot of use). I thought cleaning was my forte for sure, but apparently not. 

Signs You Can’t Handle Your Drink

I have a low tolerance for many things. This includes alcohol consumption.

I don’t know if it’s just me getting older, or if I'm just more used to eating clean so that on the odd occasions that I do drink, my body's like "Aw hell naw! What ya tryna do to me, breh?!"...but I’m seriously a sloppy drunk these days.

When I look back at uni days and how we used to go out multiple times a week, I honestly don’t know how we did it. No wonder I was heftier back then.

On the plus side, it does mean nights out are pretty cheap now as it doesn’t exactly take much to get you drunk.

But on the downside…

1) You may find yourself in the men’s toilets (alone, I hasten to add) – This actually happened to me. In my drunken confusion, I couldn’t decipher which were the male or female toilets. When I walked in and saw the urinals, I just thought that maybe the toilets in this joint were unisex.

When I got to the cubicle…well let’s just say I’ve had more pleasant experiences squatting in the woods during hikes.

Boys are gross.

2) You may also find you end up drunk-texting exes/boys you had brief flings with – But that "friendly" 2am text won't seem like such a good idea in the harsh light of day, especially when you’re anxiously waiting to see how they’ll respond.

3) You’ve lost half of the jewellery you had on that night. Sad times.

4) It takes you 3 days to fully recover from a hangover. Sore head, much?

5) Memory loss - When you see the post-party Facebook uploads, you can’t even remember how/when the pictures were taken.

So as the holiday season is upon us, remember folks: drink responsibly.

Cheers!

How To Brighten Silver And Remove Tarnish

I must admit, I do like a bit of bling. Not tacky jewellery mind, but I like my accessories (especially ethnic-style jewellery) and I have some statement pieces.

Image credit: starbright

Unfortunately, due to constant moving, sometimes I’ll forget about some of my jewellery pieces, or I’ll go through phases where I just don’t feel like wearing too much jewellery and some pieces lie forgotten.

As a result, some of my beloved jewellery pieces have gone from being bright sterling silver, to a dark, dull and tarnished colour.

I thought these pieces had perhaps reached their sell-by date so were beyond repair... that the change in colour was inevitable for cheap-ish jewellery that’s prone to rusting or something.

About to chuck it in a carrier bag to give to charity (even if charity shops can’t resell your stuff they usually do some sort of textile recycling, so they know exactly what to do with unwanted materials) I thought actually, I bet there’s a solution online from lifestyle gurus.

And apparently there is.

Does Life Keep Itself In Balance?

Image credit: jpornelasadv

Ain’t life strange, the way good things tend to happen all at once. On the flip-side, things tend to all go wrong at once as well.

I’m not the only one who’s observed this life-pattern… I'm sure you've heard the saying: when it rains, it pours!

Of course, it could all just be psychological. Maybe it seems like one bad situation is following another, because it’s more noticeable when you’re already stressed about something else.

Strangely though, what I’ve found is that things tend to get a lot worse the more you actively let things bother you.

Why I Took A Blogging Break

Work break... [Image credit: kaboompics]

Women are meant to be great at multi-tasking. My current job role has certainly improved my ability to think on my feet and juggle multiple tasks.

However, sometimes life just gets the better of you and there just aren’t enough hours in the day. So things like hobby-blogging have to take a backseat.

To be fair, it has been an extremely busy few weeks…here are some things that have rendered me with less free time:

- Joining a walking group, where I subsequently met some lovely people who I ended up striking up a friendship with and as a result, my social life has been a bit more active.
- Going from part-time to full-time at work after a member of staff left.
- Starting a weekly writing class.
- It’s that time of the year again, where colds and flus are spreading and unfortunately, I wasn’t immune.
- I’ve had annoying household things to take care of e.g. boiler repairs, switching broadband services.
- This website domain is up for renewal so I’ve had to do some work for that.
- My sister who still lives in London has visited us a couple of times.
- Those friends that you only hang out with from time-to-time have been reaching out, wanting to catch up.
- And finally [shock-horror :P]…I’ve been dating.