New Year’s Resolutions 2017

You know you’re really basic when you participate in this whole "New Year, New Me" phenomenon.

Image credit: schroederhund

However, last year was a bit of a mixed-bag for me – some really fun experiences, but also some emotionally-draining circumstances. The last week of the year for me was especially eventful and reflected this pattern. Luckily, the year did end on a good note, which felt like an opportune time to mark a fresh start.

So on that note, here are some areas I want to focus on:

1) Be more selfish – By this, I mean I want to put less effort into pleasing other people, and more effort into myself and doing things that make ME happy.

For example, I’ve found as my social circle has expanded, as have the opportunities to socialise. And don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful to have found a lovely little group of people to hang out with; It’s rare to find people who appreciate the amount of effort you put into a friendship, and who reciprocate. I really shouldn’t take them for granted.

However, spending too much time with anyone will lead to irritation. And I’m that type person who goes a bit crazy if I don’t have a certain amount of alone time.

I think this is a result of having spent a period of time not getting out much (due to not having many friends to hang out with). In situations like that, you find ways to keep yourself occupied. You get used to your own company and I guess old habits die hard.

Now, I’ve met people who are as eager and willing to socialise. But it’s good to find a balance. I’m learning to turn down invites, if participating means it’ll be a drain on my time, finances and energy.

Plus, I often find myself being resentful if I put extra effort into the friendships and it’s not returned. So a way to avoid this, is to be nice…but not to my own detriment, especially if it inconveniences me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still always be there for my friends if they need me and I won’t ONLY hang out when it’s convenient for me. But I don’t need to go overboard trying to please people. It’s about having healthy boundaries and managing my expectations of them, by putting a proportionate amount of effort into the friendship.

2) Remain Single For A Year – As your social circle expands, so do opportunities to meet people. Especially when you’re too busy having a good time to be really concerned about your love life - I think the lack of desperation, plus a positive, fun-loving attitude tends to attract guys.

But I honestly just want a year free of any kind of relationship or dating drama, or any other kind of romantic entanglement. This includes not entertaining any form of contact from guys from the past, who like to periodically contact me. This also means resisting the urge to stalk them online too – I’ve blocked them all on social media to rid me of temptation.

There’s just no point living in the past, feeling wistful at any unfinished business, or wasting time communicating with guys who don’t give a sh*t about you. Far better to sever ties and take control of the situation.

As for any new prospects…who needs the drama? When guys I’ve dated in the past have inevitably disappointed, I often blame them. But really, no-one was holding a gun to my head, forcing me to accept a date with them.

And since I don’t actually go out with every guy who asks me out, instead of being selective, I may as well just nix them all.

This might seem a bit extreme, but it’s not like I’m writing all men off forever. It’s just for a while, because I want a fun year with as little stress as possible, avoiding potentially negative situations.

Besides, I’m sure the male population will collectively breathe a sigh of relief 😝. I’ve been described as "hard work" (I prefer to call it "having standards") in the past.

3) Post More Actively  – When I say post more, I don’t mean across social media. I’m actually trying to post less on things like Facebook and Instagram as I’ve realised often, I’m posting to make an indirect point to other people who I’m fairly certain keep tabs on me online.

Image credit: edar

And when I say indirect, I mean I’ll post updates to show off my "fun and exciting" life. Thankfully, there are no emo-style quotes or passive-aggressive screenshots aimed at people (if I’ve ever slipped and posted something like that, I’ve deleted it soon after).

Part of the reason why I want to spend less time engaging on social media, is because I’m starting to find this whole "liking" culture really sad: I can’t believe we’ve become a society that is so bothered by something as inconsequential as clicking a button.

I think it’s strange the way we obsessively like each other’s content like robots, so that the other person will either reciprocate, or because you know it means a lot to someone who measures standards of friendships based on how loyal you are with your likes.

I understand if it’s people with high-quality content, who use these methods to get their creative content out there – they don’t call it digital marketing for nothing. That’s just smart and can potentially land you opportunities.

But instead of posting on self-promotional sites like Facebook or Instagram, which only really serve to feed the ego or boost people’s self-esteem through superficial means, I’d personally prefer to be active on social media that’s more creative; where posting actually serves a purpose. The two main outlets I can think of are this blog and my YouTube page.

I mean, I’d still like to post if I come across something funny or interesting, or if I visit somewhere scenic - some places, and the subsequent photos, are just too beautiful not to share. My Instagram is also quite artsy, and posting on there does teach you about angles, framing and image editing so I’ll also be active on there, but I’m going to try and keep the personal snaps/updates to a minimum.

4) Be Kinder To My Family  – This is an on-going issue with my family, as they get on my last nerve. We are all very different personalities. However, family is still family, and unlike a lot of dysfunctional families, we do come together during crisis times.

Besides, even if I feel like my family deserve my contempt with their idiotic behaviour, it just turns me into a person I don’t really want to be. Sure, I still need a healthy amount of space from them, but if there’s ever a situation where you should like "bygones be bygones", it’s with family members who may not be perfect, but who you know deep down care about you,

These seem like nice to have goals to have set myself for the New Year. I’d love to include resolutions such as being a bit more relaxed, less uptight and less critical (of both myself and others), but I’m trying to be realistic. I will, of-course, try to improve in those areas, but I think certain personality traits are ingrained in me at this point. So instead of looking at changing myself, I’m looking at changing the circumstances around me instead, which will hopefully lessen these negative traits.