Why Women Can't Resist Bad Boys

My impatience, frustration and general disdain for men is pretty well-documented.

However, I’m one for balanced perspectives and even I can recognise women can be equally as frustrating to men, especially when it comes to dating.

Image credit: OpenClipart-Vectors

I've touched on a similar topic before. Often, you have decent guys ready for a relationship, scratching their head as to why a woman is giving mixed signals. Maybe she responds to your contact, but never initiates. Maybe you had an amazing first date, the girl seemed interested but she’s difficult to pin down for a second date, constantly saying she’s "busy".

In some cases, a girl may actually be interested but just doesn’t want to look desperate. I personally can like a guy, but will hold-off initiating too much contact in the early stages as I prefer to take things slowly. Also, I guess I like to gauge his interest level and an easy way to do that is by seeing how often he initiates contact. I will, however, respond enthusiastically to contact and date requests.

However, if a woman isn’t making any real effort  to see or speak to you, if conversations taper off into nothing, then her ambivalence is most likely due to her half-hearted interest in either you, or in dating and relationships in general.

Women are often at the receiving end of this type of behaviour from men, and are frequently (and often, brutally) told: He’s Just Not That Into You.

However, guys tend to be treated a lot more delicately. So much so, it’s perplexing to them. Hey, if a guy has made it clear he’s single and ready for a relationship but a girl isn’t biting… clearly she has issues of some sort, right?

Emotional vs. Physical Attraction

It’s often said that if a woman is inclined to cheat, it’s because her emotional needs are not being met. On the flip side, if men cheat it’s because their sexual needs are not being met.

Image credit: Unsplash

Now obviously, this isn’t a hard and fast (excuse the pun 😉) rule, but I think it’s fair to say that women tend to be more enthusiastic about entering a relationship compared to men.

This is what causes a lot of dating woes – a mutual attraction between two people, but not exactly a meeting of minds when it comes to what they’re looking for in the opposite sex. Therefore, dating can be equally frustrating for all parties involved.

Generally speaking though, it’s usually pretty obvious if a guy you’re dating falls into the "serious" or "casual" category. A guy that’s not really looking for anything long-term isn’t, for example, going to ask you too many personal questions. He’ll avoid delving into deep and personal topics, and conversations are quite superficial in nature. When you meet up, it tends to be last minute. Fun and non-committal, kind of thing.

This was a situation I was confronted with when I reconnected with a blast from the past recently.

What Feminism Means To Me

"...even when I'm a mess
Still put on a vest
With an "S" on my chest
Oh yes,
I'm a Superwoman." [Alicia Keys]

These lyrics come from a lovely, underrated song by singer/songwriter Alicia Keys.

Incidentally, the song title "Superwoman" is also the moniker of mega-successful YouTuber Lilly Singh, who has successfully carved out a career in the digital industry, and someone I personally find an inspiration.

I don't usually subscribe to celeb-endorsed products/merchandise, but this girl's accomplishments, maturity and outlook on life are incredibly admirable, she brings out the hardcore fan in me.

Singh has also dedicated her time to advocate "Girl Love", a movement which is all about empowering and enriching the lives of other women. And I’m all about that.

A photo posted by Lilly (@iisuperwomanii) on Sep 20, 2016 at 9:56am PDT

Because the truth is, being a woman is tough. That’s why it’s so important for women to support and celebrate each other.

When Life Gets Tough, Stay Positive

"How do you stay positive in a world that is such a negative and hateful place?"

We all have bad days where we come across everyday obstacles and challenges, not to mention people or situations that really test our patience and lead us to lose faith in people and the world around us.

But when it’s getting to point where a bad day has turned into a bad week…then a bad month, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate your circumstances and more importantly, your mindset.

Image credit: Maialisa

I’m not trying to minimise people’s problems. Trust me, I know how much it sucks when it seems like every aspect of your life is going wrong, causing you to feel helpless, stressed and overwhelmed; when life feels like a long, lonely journey with no relief in sight.

Life can be tough man, what with stressful jobs, financial instability, crappy living situations, disappointing relationships, unreliable friends and rubbish support networks.

But the truth is, everyone has problems. No one’s life is peachy, all of the time. Everyone has stresses, worries and concerns. Granted, some people’s problems or circumstances may be more extreme than others. But generally, if it seems like some people are happier than others then it’s because there’s a difference in how they deal with things.

Some of the strongest, seemingly happiest-on-the-surface people have had the most traumatic experiences. They’ve just learnt how to handle and overcome setbacks.

Confused Trailers: Suicide Squad

I’m not a massive fan of Hollywood comic book franchises so I’ve never had a strong desire, for example, to see the latest revamp of the Batman, Superman or Spiderman movies.

If I’ve gone to see them in the past, it’s because I’ve wanted to be a good sport and accompanied dates or friends who are really into those types of films. Truthfully, I’ve always ended up zoning out during the films, not really fully engaged. It’s been an entertaining couple of hours, but nothing life changing or something I’d watch again.

However, I caught this initial Suicide Squad trailer about a year ago:

I actually thought the movie looked interesting and was looking forward to catching it when it came out, even though I don’t usually pay attention to American superhero films.

It’s now a year later, and the film is now due to be released (it actually dropped nationwide in the UK on Friday). But I was left a little confused at the way the film had been savaged by critics...from what I saw of the trailer, it looked like a dark and interesting film with a decent back-story to it.

But with all the recent press and promotion surrounding the movie’s impending release, it was hard to miss the latest version of the trailer. Suddenly, the bad reviews made sense:

H&M "Rewear It" Campaign – World Recycle Week

There was a recent ad campaign launched by high street retailer H&M (I say recent, it actual ran back in April so I guess I’m a little late to the party), and this snippet/teaser in particular really caught my attention:

It ran during World Recycle Week to encourage shoppers to donate unwanted clothes. In return, they were rewarded with a voucher to use on goods in-store.

The ad itself is dope: everything from the visuals to the beat, lyrics, choreography and timing is cool and cutting edge and it really grabs your attention. There’s so many layers to the visuals, for example the circular movements in the choreography to reflect the cyclical nature and lifespan of reusable goods.

However, many viewers of the ad were quick to point out the hypocrisy of the campaign, namely the way H&M is a clothing outlet that is the epitome of fast-fashion; the clothing items produced aren’t made to last or have a long shelf life, and consumers are constantly encouraged to keep up with the latest fashion trends. One could argue that H&M is therefore contributing to the waste issue on a very large scale. It definitely does seem like a bit of an oversight from a PR/Marketing standpoint.

It makes you question why exactly H&M would run such a campaign that would leave them open to all sorts of obvious criticism?

Obnoxious People: Speak Up Or Let It Slide?

Over the past couple of years after dealing with some major downers, I decided I wasn’t even going to bother confront people about their sh*t behaviour anymore, because it proved to be a pointless exercise. All it ever really did was just create more drama.

Realistically, people in general are never going to react well when you’re pointing out their flaws. So why bother? You just end up looking argumentative or like a nitpicking a**hole, and most of the time you end up dealing with someone who is defensive, in denial or is so offended that you called them out on their behaviour, they’re going to fall out with you and never speak to you again anyway.

Image credit: mattysimpson

So from then on, whenever someone was bugging me, whether that was a friend or someone I’m dating, if an issue arose and the subsequent conversation was going nowhere, I would simply distance myself from them and the situation. Far better to walk away without all the drama.

It wasn’t a difficult thing to implement because I’ve generally been keeping people at arm’s length these days anyway, preferring to keep things casual.

'My apartment is the only place that I feel safe right now. I have food. I have alcohol. I have 600 channels. And none of them want to hurt me.'  (The Mindy Project)

Recently however, things took a different turn.