Self Improvement vs. Accepting Yourself

Image credit: mcredifine

My life has been randomly hectic for the past couple of years and unfortunately, blogging took a backseat. I also didn’t bother to renew this site's custom domain registration, which meant my search visibility took a battering and since I was no longer getting the consistent traffic that I was used to, it was even more of a reason to not be as active on here.

I find my desire for blogging returning however, as I forgot just how therapeutic it can be. As someone who is prone to bouts of situational depression, if there’s an outlet that can bring you any kind of relief, it’s well worth continuing with.

It also helps to clear and organise my thoughts, and I’m finding myself rambling less to poor folks in my everyday life since I’ve gotten back into writing. I know a lot of people can relate to things I write about as well, which is why I originally set up this blog.

I guess the purpose of this post is that I find myself reflecting on my current circumstances, which make me feel like I’m exactly where I was 3-4 years ago, despite making numerous changes in my life.

I think as adults, especially if you have a pattern of struggling to maintain relationships, jobs or whatever, it's important to be self-aware so you can look at areas about yourself that perhaps need improving. The goal isn’t to be too self-critical, but more so you can live your best life.

Why Modern Friendships Aren't Sustainable

I wrote an article a while back about Sex and the City and how we can draw inspiration from the female friendships featured in the show as something to aspire to, as opposed to the shallower aspects such as the fierce fashion choices, fabulous apartments and casual relationships.

However, the cast of the infamous show hit the headlines recently, mainly because of the way Kim Cattrall publicly lashed out at co-star Sarah Jessica Parker on social media:

My Mom asked me today “When will that @sarahjessicaparker, that hypocrite, leave you alone?” Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were then and now. Let me make this VERY clear. (If I haven’t already) You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I’m writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your ‘nice girl’ persona. Copy and paste link https://nypost.com/2017/10/07/inside-the-mean-girls-culture-that-destroyed-sex-and-the-city/

A post shared by Kim Cattrall (@kimcattrall) on Feb 10, 2018 at 5:20am PST

Tensions in the workplace happen all the time, so it’s unreasonable to expect a TV show or film set to be any different. But it was still sad to see confirmation that when it came to the close-knit friendships portrayed in the show, life certainly didn't imitate art.

Interestingly, the stars of another one of my favourite female-led shows Charmed also hit the headlines not too long ago for similar reasons, when Rose McGowan (who has very vocally spoken out against sexism and sexual harassment in Hollywood) lashed out at former co-star Alyssa Milano, again on social media, for supporting the wife of Harvey Weinstein (who is now facing numerous allegations of assault and harassment).

Why Men Like B*tches

Much like anyone else with any kind of experience of failed relationships, I’ve become quite weary when it comes to pursuing a romantic connection. I’m pretty sure this lack of enthusiasm for dating is apparent which means unintentionally, I’ve ended up being a little stand-offish when it comes to dating.

You would think this aloof attitude would discourage men but on the contrary, they seem to end up putting in more effort to see or speak to you.

I’ve had this happen with a few guys now, so it seems like proof that 1) if a guy really likes you, even a little bit of rejection won’t put them off from trying again and 2) men actually seem to prefer it if you aren’t all that eager to date them.

Ice Ice Baby
Image credit: Ingasommer

It’s not even a tactic or game I’m playing, because I genuinely am a bit half-hearted about dating at the moment and my hectic schedule makes it hard to find the time to date as well.

Besides, I think this approach is far more effective when you’re not faking it, and you genuinely have more going in your life than being able to drop everything to go on a date, as though it’s the highlight of your week.

This is precisely why I tell females not to chase men. Because apparently, even if you turn them down, ignore them or seem unenthusiastic with their messages, it doesn’t stop men from pursuing you.

How I Broke My Internet Addiction

In the modern age, it’s increasingly difficult to avoid technology as more and more systems become digital.

Image credit: Mediamodifier

For the most part, these updates in communications are designed to make our lives easier. However, like anything else you have to be careful not to let usage become excessive, as overuse can have a variety of negative effects on your mental and physical health.

I myself noticed a difficulty in being able to listen or concentrate on one thing for too long; even watching a movie or reading a book required a concentrated effort to focus and not let my mind drift.

I think the problem is that it’s my main way to ease boredom – as soon as I have some spare time, I’m connected online and I feel a mad rush to check (and clear) my notifications, as well as my email inboxes, news feeds (both personal from social media, and topical in the form of online newspapers), not to mention checking the status of this blog.

That’s a lot of information to process and it can’t be good for those who are prone to feeling anxious or overwhelmed. But it can be difficult to break the habit when it becomes part of your daily routine.

Does Technology Create More Problems Than It Solves?

As technology is constantly changing, people often wonder why I'm so resistant to updating my bits of technology and moving with the times. But I can’t be the only one who finds gadgets and electronics a potential source of stress, for the following reasons:

1) When you buy a new piece of equipment, there’s the whole process of having to get used to a new system and learning how it works.

Image credit: FirmBee

2) The inevitable troubleshooting that comes when you realise your new flash bit of equipment might have some cool new functions, but is struggling to carry out certain simple, basic tasks you grew used to using on your old device.

3) Concerns about being too dependant or reliant on technology, not to mention sacrificing your privacy and personal data when engaging heavily with certain apps.

It's like technology has become too technical and involved for its own good.

Does Expensive = Better Quality?

I’ve always been one to buy most of my stuff from the high street, be it clothing, toiletries, cosmetics, electronics or homeware. There is always the option to go a bit upmarket and shop in the more expensive stores when you're in shopping centres, but I’ve usually gone for shops that stock mid-to-low priced products, just because I haven’t seen the need to go high-end for basic everyday items.

Image credit: FranckinJapan

In fact, I even wrote about my dissatisfaction with certain luxury brands in this post: Are Expensive Cosmetics Ruining Your Skin?

While it’s OK to treat yourself from time to time, I’ve often found that for example, when I’ve splurged on a designer handbag, purse or jacket, the higher price tag hasn’t necessarily resulted in a better quality item.

I guess you could say I don’t like wasting my money. I’m not necessarily a bargain hunter, but I will shop around to make sure I’m not spending triple the amount for something identical-yet-cheaper elsewhere. And I especially don’t like splashing the cash on something that fails to live up to its advertising promise.

However, a default attitude of always going for the cheapest option has definitely resulted in purchasing goods that aren’t the best quality. I never really noticed it until recently, but buying a similar item at a cheaper price has often meant the product just hasn’t lasted as long, and I’ve had to replace it perhaps sooner than I would have had to if I had spent more at the initial time of purchase.

Why Travelling Is Overrated

Image credit: Skitterphoto

Nearly everyone loves the idea of travelling: getting on a plane, visiting a new country, a change of scenery and an escape from everyday life.

For some, it’s the idea of endless beach days and non-stop partying that appeals; for others scenic views and excursions. Others like to experience different city cultures, whilst there are people who like to go on holiday purely to experience more settled weather.

Whatever the reason, I do think it’s good for people to explore other places: it not only builds character being in an unfamiliar environment, but opens you up to new experiences and potentially meeting new people.

I’ve always been the type of person who only visits a destination because I really want to go there. However, in modern-day times with people endlessly bragging about their overseas escapades via social media, a lot of people find themselves going on holiday just to keep up with the Joneses.
They have no real, genuine desire to see that particular place, they just go because it’s something for them to do, to feel like they’re involved.

This amuses me because (and this might be a testament to getting old), travelling isn’t exactly fun.